this question appeared at my screensaver
I want to write something
but I could not find the right way to start
this time my thoughts is about gaming
I gamed a lot years ago
spent so much time in it
less sleep just to become a winner
and if I failed,
I started again and again…… and again
those were simple games
not about building societies or fighting
just simple games
me against me in the next game
I wanted to be better then before
that was all
in those games it did not matter if I failed
I could start over and try again
nobody laughed about my results
because nobody gamed with or against me
it was also easy for me to game
at that moment I could not make time
to fail in the real world
there were no failures
because I did not do anything else
except some jobs which I could do on automatic pilot
I did not have to make choices
which could be wrong
I could not meet people
who could be wrong
I also could not meet people
who could ask difficult questions about my life
I could not create anything
which could be something miserable
I could not make time for sex
which could hurt my body and heart
yeah, life was easy……
what I know now
is that I had to experience with gaming
to find out what this did to me
to help me to understand how my mind works
to open my eyes about becoming a slave
of something which blocks my thoughts
of something which makes me dead inside
so what would I attempt to do if I knew I could not fail?
yeahhh,
the world is the place to find out
that there is a chance of more than 50%
that the result will be positive
it will make my day
and it will last longer
then the memory about winning a game
